This originally started as a reply to a blog post by a friend of mine.
Read her post first. Please.
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This topic is a pet peeve of mine. This is a form of stereotyping. You may as well just say that your child(ren) have a dollar value.
I’ll just be talking about restaurants. I’m not even touching airlines, hotels, or movie theaters.
“You are 5 so your not worth a seventy dollar meal” , or “you’re 7 so eating a fifty dollar steak in front of you would ruin it”.
How awful is that?! Say it outloud.
Not all children are equal. Not all parents are clueless to their children’s behavior. Some know when it’s time to leave. Some know when not to go at all because they know their kids.
Some children are very well behaved in restaurants.
Some parents work extremely hard to make sure of that.
Are they perfect every single time? No, but we learn new triggers every time they do not behave.
Have we ever left because they did not meet expectations? yes, of course. We want to continue taking our kids out. How else will they learn what is and isn’t acceptable?
Were they behaved as expected, the next time? You bet.
Do we take our kids to “fine dining” places? yes.
Do we take them when adults are typically “out”? No.
That being said we usually go to “family dining” places. They are cheaper. We are a family of 4 eating diners, soon to be 5. We can not afford to go to McCormick and Shmick or Kona Grill every time we go eat, buy why should my steak loving 6 year old be banned from the best places to get steak? That’s not fair. If we are willing to pay for it, we should be allowed to bring him along.
What I can MAYBE go for would be “no kids after X time”. The most well behaved kids can’t be well behaved if it’s past their bedtime.
I say maybe because we don’t know every family’s schedule. It’s a stretch but what if they are on an opposite schedule because of mom/dad’s work and 10 PM is the only time they can go out?!
As you can see I am NOT for banning kids from establishments. Why not ban the guy that is clearly out with a “lady of the night”?* He’s in a business suit and she’s in a slinky dress with sparkly heels and has her shoes off and her feet in the booth. That’s more distracting then my 3 year old smiling at people that look at him.
* Yes, this is a true experience. Yes, I could be wrong but it was VERY distracting while out for my anniversary dinner at a “Fine dining” restaurant.
Hey Friend! I completely disagree. I would go to a restaurant on the basis of no children allowed. Pete and I eat out alot and at pricey places. For example just this month I had a meal at Fogo De Cho ruined by a crying baby ($50 a plate plus drinks and dessert), a meal at Tokyo Steak House ruined by a very charming child that would not stop talking to me (his parents just smiled benevolently thinking to themselves, I’m sure, look how cute and articulate our little Johnny is). All I really wanted was a little adult conversation with my husband.
I think any where the food is more than $25 a plate they should have lower age limits. If you can afford $60 (with drink and horderves) per person you can afford a babysitter. On the other hand I see your point about taking kids in public to teach them to behave and their are plenty of mid range restaurants open for that, that I would put no child “lock” on. For example Cheddars, Logans, Texas Road House, Olive Garden, Casa Garcia…the list goes on…
As for the man and the prostitute. That is visual, just don’t look. When kids are involves it is all about the noise. I can stop my self from looking at you but I can’t avoid a crying baby or screaming toddler.
First off, when are we going to have lunch :)?
That’s my point though (and why I said it was stereotyoing), not all kids will be heard. Quiet chatter at the table should be acceptable. Yes, my kids will be quiet. Waitresses tell us all the time how good are boys are.
Crying baby? Would have been quieted before crying. The boob has never failed me in public. Thank you hooter hider. If it did fail ? He’d likely be fretting first and I would immediatly leave the room.
Screaming toddler? We would have DEFINITELY left. Embarassing or not. And likely would have taken him outside BEFORE he ever screamed because something likely lead up to it.
As for the kid that talked to you. NEVER would the boys be allowed to speak to someone at another table. That is just downright RUDE.
Will LOVES steak. Have we taken him to Ruth’s Chris yet? no. Are we planning on it? YES! Will we take all 3 boys at once? No. Lucas doesn’t like steak and they don’t have anything he would like.
oh, and the hooker? She was in my line of sight. I would have had to only look at my plate or turn my head to not see her. 🙂
I guess my problem is not with the kids but with parents that just don’t use any common sense when eating out. Now I understand what it is like to eat out with children I have four! When our youngest was born, their ages were; infant, 3.5, 7 and 10. We would always go out around 5pm any later and it would be pushing my kids because they were usually in bed by 8pm. When they were infants and breastfed it was always easy to calm the fussy baby and usally that baby would sleep through the meal. There were times that one of us would have to take the 3 year old for a short walk while we were waiting for our meal but I also brought coloring books, books with us to keep them occupied while waiting. But I am sorry I never had the screaming kid at the table because we could tell what kind of “mood” the youngest ones were in before we would decide to head out to eat.
By the time our youngest was 2 and our oldest was 12 we started going out once a month without the kids and would go someplace to eat where there would not be kids. But what I can’t stand is going out to eat at anytime and having a screaming child in the resturant. These were usally the parents that had no clue about getting up and taking the child for a little walk or bringing items to keep the child occupied while there. I just can’t stand the parent that keeps trying to force the screaming child back in their chair!! The child can’t help it and it is the parent I have the problem with in situations like these!!
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You are right, we can’t really tell mood if they start in a good mood; something could trigger them. WHat I meant, and should have clarified is that if they skipped their nap, we know what their mood will be. If their allergies are acting up, we know what kind of mood they will be in. If they feel asleep in the car on the way? Again, we know what mood they will be in and will change our plans.
We won;t go out in those instances :).
I totally agree with you, Priscilla! I think it is totally OK to take out kids to “fancier” restaurants before 8 pm. After that no kids should be out dining 🙂 except when you are on holiday of course at a resort or so. I think letting people smoke in restaurants (even when a kid is present) is worse in this case.
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I’m lucky to live in a smoke free city!!! 😀
Thanks for sharing this post! It;s nice to read something different and new!
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