I’ve had this rule. I’d only blog about the good stuff.
It’s what matters.
It’s what I want to remember.
No one wants to know about my struggles.
But. . .
This is supposed to be a keepsake. . . A place to look back and laugh.
Will has always been a good kid. He still is, but we are struggling with him right now.
It’s been going on for about 3 years now. It started when we moved and he started school.
He’s smart. REALLY smart and he knows it.
He’s also easily influenced. He hasn’t always had the best influence at school.
He used to be the SWEETEST, most gentle and loving little boy.
Now?
He’s still all of those things. Sometimes.
The rest of the time?
He’s so difficult. It’s not always easy to be around him.
That makes my heart hurt. So much.
He’s an angel in school but he’s admitted he’s bored. Somehow he controls himself because he doesn’t get in trouble there.
Just at home.
At least we did something right. Right?
Last year he was nominated for GT. For whatever reason he wasn’t “accepted”.
We decided not to let him be nominated this year because if you are denied two years in a row you can’t be nominated again the next year.
He can do double digit math in his head and reads on a much higher reading level. He has a memory like an elephant. He remembers tiny details of conversations we had YEARS ago and uses them against us.
We’ve thought about having his IQ tested by a psychologist and just bypassing the schools tests.
I’ve considered homeschool so we can skip all the boring stuff and jump into new stuff.
But …..
He doesn’t listen when I try and teach him. He tells me it’s not how his teacher does it or this or that.
I couldn’t do it. Not right now.
I don’t think Private school would be any better.
I don’t really want him jumping ahead of all the kids he’s already made friends with, so I’ve avoided having him tested to move up a grade.
He has lots of friends. He’s very well liked by the other kids. So, that hasn’t been a problem.
I suppose some of what we are dealing with is normal. It’s just what almost 7 year olds do, but he’s been doing it since he was 4.
Lucas is about to be 4. I’m not sure I can handle it if Lucas develops a personality as strong as Will’s.
He’s SO good around other people. He’s the model of perfection.
No one would ever know.
No form of discipline works.
Not spanking.
Not time out.
Not grounding. (taking away video games/TV)
The one thing that does work?
Threatening to tell others. (teachers)
He’s so worried about what they will think but couldn’t care less what WE think.
He thinks we should show HIM respect and tells us we are being rude when we only try to discipline him.
God, I hate writing this but I need to get it out. I need to share it.
Everyday I take a deep breath and hope it will be a good day.
That he will come home in a good mood.
He really is a good kid.
He doesn’t hurt people.
He rarely lies (except here and there about stuff he does or doesn’t do with or to his brother, you know innocent kid stuff).
It breaks my heart when he thinks he’s BAD because he gets in trouble. He says it. Not us. We tell him otherwise. We’ve NEVER told him he was a bad kid so I don’t know where he even heard that.
There is a part of me that doesn’t want to remember this “phase” but I know I will.
I want to hope that writing it down will help him if his kids do the same thing.
Maybe.
HUGS! It’s so hard having a smart kid. My boy is smart too, and 7, and it’s rough. Maybe some extra activities? I found my son’s behavior was better when he was doing sports after school.. maybe he was just too worn out to be sassy? He also was more worried about what his coach thought than what I thought.
As for skipping a grade – I skipped a grade and had all kinds of social issues – also, I went off to college at BARELY 17 which led to.. problems. A naive 17 year old girl in a co-ed dorm 400 miles from Daddy and his collection of shotguns? Yeah.
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He’s in Tae Kwon do 2-3 days a week. Last year we did that AND swim.
He’s worse when we have to go somewhere but he doens’t want to quit either. He’s about 9 months away from Black Belt.
He finished the swim program in 6 months. Other kids take longer. He’s a fast learner.
Hmm. I thought I commented but I guess it didn’t work. Here goes my second try!
So sorry to hear of your struggles with your son. i faced similar difficulties with mine — also smart, and also became very challenging at home around the same time. Three things seemed to help: 1) My son was diagnosed with ADHD and we made the tough decision to medicate him at the end of 4th grade. This helped him concentrate at school and control some of the impulsive behavior. 2) Consistent, calm discipline (OK, we never really achieved this, but when we could it definitely helped). Worked much better than screaming which is what often seemed to happen. 3) Age. My son is now 12 and in 7th grade and things are MUCH calmer in my house so there is hope.
Best of luck with your son. Hang in there!
Meryl
Try the book Have a New Kid by Friday by Dr. Kevin Leman.
I wanted to be sure I could post before typing more. He is a Christian based author/counselor but his principles apply to all. It is worth a shot. I don’t like it when people tell me that “bad” behavior is normal. It is just not acceptable. Your son sounds to be super smart but he still has a long way to go as far as maturity and respect; as do ALL children. Kids thrive on routine and proper discipline (and no, discipline is not a bad thing as there are many forms of it). If you want to chat further with me you have my email address. I have a 10 year old daughter and a 6 year old son.
I don’t usually reply to things I stumble upon in the course of my time-wasting on the internet, but your post could have been written about my boy, Weise. He will be seven on January 4th. He was also tested last year for GT and for some strange reason, not accepted. (Even his teachers were all amazed he wasn’t accepted) And, we are currently having the exact same behavioral problems at home. At school, he does get in trouble about once a week, usually Monday, for either talking or “playing” when he shouldn’t be. I blame myself for that-we live out in the country with NO small kids near us. Our closest friends live over an hour away. He really is socially starved. He is easily liked by friends ANY where we go, is quick to make and keep friends, and is a born leader. He can hold a conversation with adults, and turn around and run in circles, chasing his little sister (4 next week) or baby brother (13 months)
We have also considered homeschooling, but as in your home, Weise will not listen. Will not do the work assigned. Says he doesn’t want to learn (what’s being taught). Yet he picks up all and anything about space travel, circuit boards, computer networks, etc. Very random, and yet, very detailed information is easily absorbed by him! He asks to watch Mythbusters and Stuck with Hackett..
I will continue to search for a solution.. a quest I hope you, too, succeed in.
You shouldn’t feel bad about writing negative things. It’s something that you’re dealing with now and we all understand. We’ve been there, especially with our little ones and would never think less or judge yours based on a post.
Hugs!
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That’s too tough…Sorry to hear that.He’s really smart with his age.And we have nothing to do with it.All I can say is PRAY hard for him.In GOD’s grace nothing is impossible.Have faith in God.Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
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I think your son looks to be super smart but he still has a long way to go as far as maturity and respect.
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Your son must be very strong willed person. Maybe in time when he matures enough, he can understand the right or wrong… You need to be patient with him, in time he will realize… Hope that will happen, pray hard for it…
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