I promise I will try and get back to writing about my little family and not my newphew, but I can’t stop playing it over and over in my head. It’s on my mind all the time. I’m sorry if you are tired of hearing me talk about it.
Oh and have you seen Remember Dylan yet? Susan wanted a “in memory” type webpage so I bought the domain and set it up blog style so she can do with it what she wants.
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I wrote the obituary with our oldest sister. I knew what it said. I read it over and over to make sure there were NO mistakes. I saw it online the day it was printed but I had never looked at it in the actual PRINT paper. Until last night. This entire thing is just so stupid and so wrong.
I have my thoughts about death and what happens when and that helps me cope and my family has their thoughts too… We all have a bit of “peace” in regards to it but that doesn’t change what is.
The peace doesn’t keep out all doubts and thoughts about things. You know what is true, but you still . . . wonder. When something like this happens you think all sorts of things. You do. It’s not all good.
People get sick and die. People get old and die. That “makes sense”. It’s simple. It still sucks and it’s still horrible.
The way Dylan died?? It’s just F*3K!N6 stupid.
Dylan and Big PawPaw
That’s Dylan and my dad. My dad died almost 7 years ago. It was agony. It hurt. He was sick and in pain so we were able to take it in. It was so different.
Priscilla, I completely understand what you’re feeling. I often don’t understand the WHY of something like this and I’m never satisfied with the answers “it’s meant to be” or “there is no answer”. It’s senseless and infuriating and frustrating, which is already a complete understatement.
Kristin Shaw´s last blog post ..Losing Faith