Letting go

Jenni wants us to dig deep again today and I knew right away that it would once again come back to my wreck.

I was BEST friends with Vicky. She was my brother’s wife and I could tell her anything and she could tell me anything.

I still hold MANY of those secrets.

I’ll never betray what we had, but we will NEVER have what we had again either.

It took many years before I even wanted to speak to her.

She wrote to me and I briefly wrote back, telling her as little as possible.

One day, I was looking at my niece’s facebook page and all of a sudden I wanted to let go.

I didn’t want to talk about it in detail.

I never even discussed it with my husband or my mom.

In fact, this is the first time I’m writing about it.

I texted my niece. The woman I remember SO well as a little bitty girl, trying to listen in to what my best friend and I had to say. What her mother and her Aunt had to say.

I asked for Vicky’s phone number.

I texted her and I said hello. I can’t remember exactly what I said but it some thing along the lines of “I’m perfectly well. My boys are gorgeous. I hope you are well.”

That was it. It felt like closure.

I let go this part of me that I’d been holding onto for 12.5 – 13 years and it felt amazing.

I have no plans to be her friend again. I have no plans to text her again.

She has my number. She knows how to find me.

I’m OPEN to exploring the idea of keeping the doors open, but I feel no need to be the one to take those steps.

I let her know that my life was fabulous.

I know she didn’t purposely cause that wreck, she paid her time, etc.

I let it go and I cracked the door.