disclaimer:
It was mentioned to me by several NON parent readers (not a single parent brought it to my attention) that it is NEVER safe for a child to approach and adult alone, so I would like to add that you should make sure you stay with your 4 year old at all times, even your 8 and 9 year olds. It also goes without saying that YOU as the parent should still be your best judge when evaluating the situation. I believe that MOST people will have no issues talking with your child, but there are some who have no desire to speak with you.
I have a dozen directions I want to go with this one today.
I want to talk about blogging and give my one piece of advice about that.
I thought about giving advice about pictures and how I important I feel they are.
I almost cheated and just said “sunscreen”, but that would have been too easy.
Something happened today that has never happened before, so while I was showering it occurred to me what I needed this post to be about.
This isn’t an unusual occurrence, in fact, it happens regularly.
I’m happy to report that IN GENERAL, parents cautiously let their kids approach me and ask me questions. I think the fact that I usually have 3 kids hanging off me helps the situation.
On the rare occasion I see the fear and shame in a parents eyes as they are just a little too slow and their kid reaches me before they can stop them, but they quickly relax when I smile and happily answer whatever their child wants to ask.
Today was different. I took our boys to Tae Kwon Do and there was a woman I had never seen. The child with her may or may not have been familiar. I really can’t be sure. He was maybe 5.
He walked right up to me and without any hesitation, asked “Why are you sitting in that?”
I gave him my standard reply, “My legs don’t work anymore.”
He trotted off happily. That was enough for him. It usually is, especially at that age.
Sometimes I’m taken a little by surprise and the child will ask many questions and that’s okay too. Their genuine desire to know WHY is something I wish everyone had.
Anyways, his mom (or grandma?) came up after he trotted off and with a look of utter shame in her eyes said “Oh my god! I can not BELIEVE he just asked you that!!!”
I immediately asked “WHY?” and without waiting for her to respond, and in a very frustrated tone, told her that I LOVED childhood curiosity and no parent should ever be ashamed or apologize for their child wanting to know how or why something was. Children learn by asking questions when they see something new and they will never learn to accept new things if they don’t question them and learn about them.
So that this is my piece of advice to you: Let your children POLITELY ask questions when they see someone different. Polite is relative so relax. If your child is genuinely sincere, tone doesn’t matter much, most people understand that kids may not always have proper tone and what may seem rude coming from and adult doesn’t coming from a child. Please, don’t be afraid. Most people welcome the questions, especially when they come from a child eager to learn everything they can about the world around them and all the different people in it.
This just happened to me yesterday at the store! I’m usually not worried about my kids asking questions, it’s normally the 4 year old who will say the most awkward things, but politely! I’m never worried that my children are being rude, I am worried that the people they approach will think I shouldn’t allow my children to say those things! The woman at the store had muscular dystrophy, I’m assuming, as she told my children that her muscled didn’t work. The wheelchair questions ended pretty quickly as my 4 year old needed to tell her that “my dad said I can say shut up”. Now that was embarrassing! Thanks for this post! I needed it!
Brenda Ruiz´s last blog post ..Frozen Yogurt!
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Isn’t awesome how a simple answer seems to work?
I love how your little followed up and just moved on, that’s usually how it goes 🙂
This is fabulous. Well said.
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Thank you! Curiosity is a wonderful thing in children and so many people don’t realize that it applies to all things and all people. I need a sign that says “It’s OK. I won’t bite.”
Love this:)
Thank you, Cathy.
Found you via the Blog Every Day in May linky! Great post – as a teacher one of the things I enjoy most about my students is their genuine curiosity. 🙂
Carrie´s last blog post ..my two cents: day 8 blogging challenge
Childhood curiosity should be bottled up and sold 😀
This might be the most useful advice I’ve gotten all day. There have been quite a few reminders of what I should do, which is certainly helpful, but this is something I will certainly keep in mind in the upcoming years. I can get very awkward in situations where I’m not sure what the person involved will think. I hate it about myself, so this will definitely help me. Thank you, thank you.
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Great perspective and advice! Thanks for the peek into your world. 🙂
My husband is a wheelchair user and we do truly enjoy children and their curiosity. Over 20 years ago an adorable child followed us around a video rental store (told you it was 20+ years ago) asking tons of questions. He wanted to know how my husband made the power chair move. He didn’t just want to hear “push this knob in the direction you want to go.” He wanted to know the power source, about the connections, controls – details. My husband answered his questions. We were kind of giggling at him – so inquisitive. His father said, “He gets it honestly. I’m an engineer.”
Kids ask me that all the time, and I’ve never minded either. But the parents act so embarrassed I feel bad for them. haha The difference between the kids and adults is that adults just stare and stare but kids just come right up, ask, and go on with their life. 😀 I love it! Love your posts!!!
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