This post originally appeared on Scary Mommy back in April 2011. It was 2 months after we found out Nathan was coming. Our 3rd boy. People kept asking if I was okay with it and if we were going to keep trying. It was quite frustrating and frankly it still is. So this post was born in response. Yes I wanted a girl,but I also wanted a boy. No I was not disappointed and I had NO IDEA if were were going to keep trying.
She would have been.
She would look so much like me, people would sometimes mistake us for twins. The only thing setting us apart would be the chair. We would shop together and get weekly manicures on our girl’s day out. We would frequently have lunch and talk every day. She would confide in me. I would cry when she tried on her wedding dress and again when I watched her Daddy walk her down the aisle. I’d cry again when she had her first baby.
We weren’t always best friends, in the beginning she was a precious little bundle of pink with silky hair. She eventually grew into a toddler that had more meltdowns then any child I’ve ever known and after that we would butt heads day in and day out every time I told her “NO!”.
Who is She? Her name would have been Chloe. She could have been my daughter. She’s really just a fantasy. She never existed; not even for a moment.
I would never in one thousand lifetimes trade my boys for this “daughter”, but that doesn’t change how much I would have liked to have had her be in my life.
I have such an amazing relationship with my Mother and I wanted to have one little girl that I could share that with.
I know I will never help my Chloe find her prom dress or comfort her as she cries over her first heartbreak, but what I will get to do is raise 3 amazing boys. I will get to watch them learn how to treat a lady and some day I will welcome not ONE but THREE beautiful daughters into my life.
We won’t look alike, we won’t likely be best friends, but I will cry when their Daddys walk them down the aisle and again when they have their first babies. My grand babies.
I will cry tears of happiness and sadness when they become the most important women in my sons’ lives.
I am more grateful then words can express to have 2 (almost 3) amazing little boys. However, a tiny part of me will always wonder if the story in my head would have been at all close to reality.
Life doesn’t seem to ever turn out the way we plan. But, more importantly it turns out the way that God has planned. You are very blessed to have almost 3 amazing boys. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Yes. I do have 3 beautiful boys. This was originally published five years ago!
WOw. I also have an amazing relationship with my mom and long for a daughter of my own to build that relationship with too. But I do trust that what has to happen, happens. And Ive seen amazing bonds between mothers and sons too, that surpass even some of the mother-daughter bonds (that I’m familiar with). Children are a blessing, and it seems like you are very blessed with 3 wonderful boys. All the best xx
I love this even though I have a daughter. It helps me maybe understand more of what a dear friend went through trying for a girl. She ended up with four boys and then had complications which meant no more trying. She does have amazing bonds with her boys though. I admire her greatly in that respect.
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What a beautiful, touching story! I have many of these from being infertile. I always wonder what child(ren) would be like. I have names and stories picked out. I am going to be so blessed once I start adopting, just like you will be blessed with 3 daughters,
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Xoxoxox to you April!! Yes! I hope all your mommy dreams come true!
The most important thing at this point is to hope for healthy children either girl or boy. You always have your boys girlfriends and wives to treat as your own.
That’s exactly what I said in the post?
What an honest post. Thanks for sharing. I have both boys and girls and if I had only boys, I too would always wonder what it would be like to have a little girl.
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As a mom of both boys and girls I can’t relate completely, but at the same time what you are saying makes so much sense. It is pretty amazing that you will get 3 daughters on day! I know being a boy mom is amazing though!
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You are so correct! I love being a boy mom and have no desire to rush ahead to my future daughters 😉
I have FIVE boys and finally got my girl this year BUT I was always content with being a boy mom, I loved it! Did I want a girl? Absolutely but I wasn’t actively trying to have one. I just wanted a big family and if a girl came along s it would be a blessing, and if not that was ok too. Im not even sure we’re done having kids but I do know that it doesn’t matter if its a boy or girl.
You hit the nail right on the head. I would love a girl but we would never try just for the sake of having one!